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3 Tips for Marriage

Hubby and I have been together for more than 7 years now, with 4+ years in marriage. We’re not in honeymoon phases nor are we senior experts in love. But I’ve learned a thing or two about what makes a relationship stick.

So in this Valentine’s season, here’s sharing three tips. These were first published on @JoogoStyle instagram.


TIP #1: Patience


Hubby definitely has more patience than me, but he is still a human, his patience will run out too. There are habits that we cannot stand of each other. That’s when we need to have patience. Patience to wait for the other person to change, or better yet, for ourselves to change and accept for who the other person is.

Through the years, I thought we would have known each other thoroughly. But marriage slowly surfaces out what is hidden deep within us – things we might not even know. Moreover, we grow and change as years go by, and as each new life stage happens – moving into a new house, baby, etc. We got to be patient as the other one struggles, or as the other grows into the role. Patient to learn more about each other at each stage.

PATIENCE IS GOLDEN.

“Love is patient and kind”
“爱是恒久忍耐,又有恩慈”

1 Corinthians 13:4 , 哥林多前书 13

TIP #2: Forgiveness


“No! You’re not getting me.”
“Don’t malign me.”
“You’re always like this.”
SLAMS

Misunderstanding, anger and quarrel are parts and parcel of every relationship and marriage. When the fury is rising, hurtful words are spewed. Anger clouds rationale thinking. Voices are raised, feelings hurt.

They say marriage is a lot of work. The effort to make time for each other, the effort to forgive each other, the effort to (fill in the blank). As both parties continually forgive each other, this forgiveness acts like a glue that mend any crack in the marriage.

Hubby taught me this by example: You don’t always have to be right. And even if right, stepping down to let the other person win is win-win because you treasure the relationship more than winning a fight.

Unforgiving spirit leads to bitterness and that in turn will poison both yourself and the marriage. Forgive and forget. Forget might be hard, but forgetfulness tend to follow forgiveness.

I am someone who holds on tight to things and finds it hard to forgive. But as we learn to let go bit by bit, may you and I find freedom in the power of forgiveness.

FORGIVENESS IS POWERFUL.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”


“总要以恩慈、怜悯的心彼此相待,要互相饶恕,正如上帝在基督里饶恕了你们一样。”

Ephesians 4:32, 以弗所书 4:32

TIP #3: Love


Pop the champagne,
Munch the chocolate,
Parade the roses.

When the dust of romance has settled, remember to be PATIENT with, FORGIVE, and LOVE each other. Find each other’s love language, and love appropriately. That is, love according to how the other party feel loved and and not how you feel loved. Be it gifts, quality time, physical touch, acts of service or words of affirmation. If you don’t know, then get to know each other more!

LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

“We love because he first loved us.”
“我们爱,因为上帝先爱了我们。”


1 John 4:19, 约翰一书 4:19


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